Read him to influence him

Whether in work, social or family life, in personal or group communication, there is always an atmosphere where one party is trying to influence the other. Each individual is like a planet in the vast starry sky, but its orbit is not fixed, sometimes it is parallel with other orbits, sometimes separated, and sometimes interlaced. These densely intertwined tracks interweave the most complex and subtle three-dimensional and multi-dimensional relationship network in human society. And the influence contained in it always affects the direction of the track, just like the magic staircase that changes constantly in "Harry Potter".

This is the great charm of influence. It fills everyone's life, adjusts everyone's progress at all times, and maintains the relative balance of the three-dimensional relationship system.

Everyone has their own expectations for the future, but only those who can persuade others to agree with their views can make their dreams come true. Tom Lambert explores the ways and ways in which individuals exert or be influenced by others from the nature of human nature. In "The Power of Influence", a book about management psychology, he uses expert-level psychological skills and entry-level narration to analyze human psychology in depth from a psychological point of view, and paint a picture for readers. Doors effectively influence the art of others, interrogating everyone's "magic staircase".

Deconstructing the complex three-dimensional network of interpersonal relationships from a universal perspective

Dulac once pointed out that the era of self-employment has come. In such an era, "everyone needs to master the skills of sales, because everyone often plays the role of a salesman." ("Influence" P15) It is necessary for everyone to fully understand the character of the target of sales.

How do you measure whether the person you are dealing with is difficult to get along with? The book proposes a four-quadrant dimension graph analysis method. The vertical axis is the progressive dimension from obedience to dominance, while the horizontal axis is the progressive dimension from hostile to friendly. Everyone with different temperament can find their own coordinate points on this dimension map.

Hostile-dominant people are most eager to take control of the environment and others as their own protective equipment. Treating them first needs to maintain their confidence and insist on speaking with facts; while dominance-hostile people believe in themselves Should have a high social status, should deal with them in an equal and cooperative attitude to solve problems, and must not devalue themselves; hostile-obedient people are skeptical of the whole world, more inclined to show external hostility, treat They must promise what they can do, and hold the power firmly in their hands; obedient-hostile types have a high sense of security and are even afraid of meeting people who may threaten them, and try not to put any pressure on them , but firmly support their decision at the closing stage.

The obedient-friendly type is the most time-wasting customer in the business, and the core way to treat them is to focus on clarity; the friendly-obedient type is a real good gentleman, and they are easy to accept and persuade for ethical advice; Friendly-dominant and dominant-friendly are unifying traits. They are rational people who listen carefully and think carefully. When interacting with them, they should provide all factual information concisely, emphasizing that suggestions will help them solve problems and improve their work process. .

Expert-level psychology skills, entry-level presentations

The ability to persuade others to accept one's point of view requires a deep understanding of it; to recognize the purpose of others' influence, it must be understood. Tom Lambert uses cognitive psychology, neuro-linguistic programming, behavioral psychology, psychometrics in the field of psychology, as well as the knowledge of medicine, anthropology, religion and philosophy, etc., to combine the influence of management category, from the perspective of human biology itself to explore the transmission path of influence.

This book breaks readers' stereotypes about the difficult and difficult concepts in the field of psychology, and the easy and simple language is refreshing. Let the audience always stay in the most excited and excited state, the "setting induction point method" is worth a try. "When my words, gestures, and body language all indicate that my interest has peaked, you can tap my arm or tap a pencil on the tabletop to deepen our perception of our current passion while you share my enthusiasm. If my enthusiasm shows signs of cooling down in the later discussion, you can repeat the previous action or sound to re-stimulate my interest." (P46)

Speaking of this, I can't help but think of the movie "Good Will Hunting" . In the film, psychologist Sean and the lost young Will have many wonderful psychological confrontations. Will's tenacious and stubborn life force deeply shocked Sean, helping him bravely face the pain of losing his wife and re-pursue his emotional destination; En's serious attitude towards life has deeply influenced Will's concept of life. He bravely stepped out of the shadow of his unfortunate childhood and greeted tomorrow with a positive attitude towards life.

Recognizing people, influencing people, and changing people, this is the unique charm of Influence; easy language, clear structure and rich skills, this is what makes the book "Influence" different.

"Influence", (US) Tom Lambert, published by Machinery Industry Press in January 2006, RMB 28.00.

Ada Zhang, Associate Editor of the CEConline website.